apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
