I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
