Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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