i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
