okay pat passed out under dana's car
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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