What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
