I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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