I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize