Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
