based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
