im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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