they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
