Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
