Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
