I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
