does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
