you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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