so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
