Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
