ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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