actually, I'm a sock model
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I love you. Go after that dick
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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