Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
