I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
