she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize