allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
