shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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