last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
