walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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