do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
