woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
