Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
