she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
