Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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