I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
