Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize