i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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