I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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