I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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