That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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