I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
