You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
