He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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