My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
NoShamevember. You game?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
