yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
