Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
