I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
