Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
