She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
