I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
