I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize