i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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