I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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