grandma shit on top of the toilet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
