Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
