he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
