people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
