the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
