I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize