oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
