No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
