how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you win again, gameday.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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