Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
