Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
