hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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