Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Lo siento on account of my penis...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
