Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
