Are we in a gay sports bar?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
