sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize