Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize