it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
