Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
