somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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