was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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