Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
