The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
