Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
