my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He kissed a someone with a penis
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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